What to do in Glasgow (or outskirts) after 12am on a Tuesday?

Other than going to clubs or hiring a prostitute.... Most cinemas aren't open past 10 on a week day (unless there are any secret ones?). I've lived in this city for 21 years and I am officially sick to death of the clubs and the people in them but I still want to do something with my other half. Surely there is something else?